Potions and Pageants Read online

  Percy’s eyes narrowed. The three teenage girls sitting not too far away were definitely succubae. She knew it with a single glance. They had that effortlessly graceful and beautiful look going on. No doubt they were students at Humble High too.

  “Friends of yours?” she asked Felix. “Nope. Can’t be, or else you’d be sitting with them. But you want to be friends. Is that it?”

  “It’s not like that,” he said very quietly, his eyes pleading for her to lower her tone.

  “Which one do you have a crush on?” she asked.

  “None,” he whispered.

  “Do you even know their names?” she persisted.

  He refused to answer.

  “Let me guess,” she whispered. “Coco, Cordelia and Constance. Nope, not Constance… Cloe… Clarissa…Camilla! Definitely Camilla.”

  The corners of his lips twitched. “Bella, Blanche and Barbie,” he said.

  “No!” Percy through back her head and laughed.

  Felix glared at her. “Hush!”

  “Let me guess,” she whispered, looking the three girls over. All three were blond. “The tallest, prettiest one is Bella. You said her name first. And that one next to her is her bestie, Blanche. And the one opposite is Barbie, who tries hard but can’t quite live up to Bella’s standards.”

  Felix bit his lip. He was trying not to smile.

  “Ha! I’m right,” she said. “And they’re the Queen Bees of the school and observe a strict adherence to their social hierarchy, and devote their lives to making themselves as popular as possible. They look our age. Are they in our year? You’re in fourth too, aren’t you?”

  He nodded, his eyes narrowing. “You know them already, don’t you?”

  “Never seen them before in my life,” she said. She tapped the side of her nose. “I like to people watch. I bet Queen Bee Bella would be a cheerleader if she was in America.”

  “Her mom’s American,” he said. “And used to be a cheerleader.”

  “No way! Ha, you certainly know a lot about her for someone who says he doesn’t want to be her friend!”

  “You talk a lot for someone who doesn’t know me.”

  Felix glanced over again at the table of girls, who were now complaining loudly to the waiter about the drinks he had delivered.

  The waiter was a new guy, and seeing the way he kept scratching his nose, Percy hoped he would not be the one to deliver her cappuccinos.

  “So what are you anyway?” Percy demanded, trying to regain Felix’s attention. “Because you’re certainly not a Humble. I can tell. You’re not a wizard either, or you’d be at a witching school. But not a Meek. You couldn’t possibly be a Meek. Werewolf? You don’t seem like a werewolf. Incubus? Don’t tell me you’re an incubus?”

  “Half-angelus,” he said absent mindedly.

  To her annoyance, his eyes were locked on the three succubae. Percy scowled. How typical of him to like Bella, because it had to be the Bella girl he was looking at.

  Percy supposed they seemed like matching sorts of people really, both clean cut and enviably stylish, with that obvious charm that made people flock to them.

  But it grated on her nerves that Felix might like Bella, who reminded Percy all too much of a succubus girl who used to come with her parents to Percy’s mother’s parties. Gwendolyn had often invited young people in the hope that Percy would make friends. That girl had started calling Percy “Greentop” — and this nickname had taken off like wildfire with the other teens at the parties. Percy had thought being called “Oddball” was bad enough, but she had disliked “Greentop” intensely.

  The new waiter, Mr Itchy Nose, was doing a terrible job of reloading his tray with the unwanted coffees, probably because Bella was shouting at him. When he sloshed half of a beautiful little cappuccino all over the table, Bella screeched.

  “Careful! Wipe it up quickly. What is wrong with you?”

  Percy felt sorry for the waiter. The man did not look well. His face was shiny with perspiration, and his hands were shaking violently as he tried to mop up the spilled coffee. Bella’s admonishments were only making him worse.

  “Quick!” she shrieked. “Before it gets all over my dress!”

  “Because coffee on dresses is the worst thing that could possibly happen in the world,” said Percy loudly.

  Bella heard this, and her head whipped around in Percy’s direction. Seeing Percy with Felix, she glared.

  Then her lips softened into a catty smile. “Felix, isn’t it darling? We didn’t see you there. Would you like to come over and join us?”

  Her two friends giggled.

  The tips of Felix’s ears went slightly red. “Er…” he said.

  The waiter hurried over to the next table and came back with a huge wad of napkins. Bella pulled out her handbag from beneath the table, took out a compact and a tube of lipstick, and reapplied the brilliant red to her glossy perfect pout. She pressed her lips together with a pop, and then fluttered her eyelashes at Felix.

  Percy would have usually been rolling her eyes at this ridiculous flirting, but something else had caught her attention. There seemed to be a dark mist enveloping Bella’s handbag.

  The mist floated like a little black cloud. Percy blinked, thinking she must be imagining it, but the cloud stayed where it was.

  It wasn’t really there, Percy knew, because she could see the peach leather handbag clearly through the dense cloud. It was like getting one of those irritating little hazy blots in front of your eyes when you had stared at something too long.

  She blinked hard, looking away, and the cloud disappeared. And yet when she looked back at the handbag, the cloud was there again, sitting right over it.

  And she was sure an ominous feeling was coming from it. Percy had never seen or felt anything like it before in her life.

  “What the heck?” she muttered.

  “That’s just what I was thinking,” said Bella. “What the heck is a darling like Felix doing sitting with a mosshead like you.”

  “Oh shut up, Bella,” snapped Percy.

  “How do you know my name, mosshead?” Bella said. Then she laughed. “Of course you know my name. Why wouldn’t you?”

  “Since you like to talk so much,” said Percy. “Why don’t you tell me what’s in your handbag. There’s some kind of weird—”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” said Bella loudly. She put her hand protectively over her bag, and then stuffed it back under the table where Percy could no longer see it.

  Percy’s eyes narrowed. “You’re hiding something.”

  “Don’t be stupid!” Bella shrieked in a high pitched voice.

  Percy was sure that she was right. And Felix seemed to have realized it too. His whole body had seemed to stiffen slightly, and now Percy noticed that he was very discreetly sliding his hand beneath the tabletop and reaching into his satchel, which was on the booth seat beside him.

  A sort of horrible tension had filled the air, and Percy could suddenly hear her heartbeat thundering so loud in her ears that it drowned out all of the other sounds.

  Back at her table Bella and her two friends had gotten an almost hilarious look of absolute horror on their faces, and Bella’s mouth opened as if in slow motion and she let out a piercing shriek.

  And then it was like the soundless bubble around Percy popped and she heard the scream at full volume. And she saw the reason for it.

  Something was happening to the waiter, Mr Itchy Nose. His face was changing. His nose grew longer until it turned into a snout, his jaw elongated horrendously and his skin bulged. His mouth opened, and inside it his teeth turned long and sharp. And his body was changing too, growing taller and larger, his shoulders thickening so much that his shirt began to tear open.

  Percy’s mouth dropped open. He was a werewolf! The new waiter was a werewolf, and somehow, impossibly, he was transforming outside of full moon!

  “Here!” yelled Felix.

  Letting out a great yowl of pain and f
ury, the waiter’s entire body bunched up. And then he hurled himself towards Felix. Percy ducked, trying to get away from him, but there was nowhere to go.

  Felix did not even flinch. He threw his arms outwards, and a silvery net expanded from it into a great wide circle and fell over the howling werewolf, trapping him.

  The half-transformed werewolf let out a scream of rage, but Felix was pulling the net tight, and out of nowhere Octavia Smythe-Smith had run to help him. Between the two of them they yanked the net shut, trapping the werewolf within.

  Percy was frozen in place. It was a good job the mesh of the net was so strong that the thrashing werewolf had no way to get out, try as he might. Every movement of his made the net glow and shimmer with a silvery magical light. Whatever magic it was must have been painful because he bellowed each time the light flared.

  “Oh!” said Percy, with belated realization, still feeling rather stunned. She turned to Felix. “It wasn’t Bella you were looking at. You knew about the waiter. But… how?”

  But Felix was too busy to answer. He and Octavia had done something that had stunned the werewolf, who was lying limply within the net now.

  And then Councilor Strickt of all people was hurrying into the café, at the head of the team of his minions, who immediately seized all of the astonished customers of the café and started bundling them outside.

  It was Councilor Strickt himself who grabbed Percy by her arm and hustled her towards the doorway.

  “But what the heck is going on?” she demanded. “How come that werewolf transformed outside of full moon?”

  “Magical drugs,” said Councilor Strickt grimly. “You see what we at the Eldritch Council have to deal with?”

  “But… but… How come Felix and Octavia apprehended that werewolf?” she said.

  He gave her a horrid smile. “Because they, unlike you, are responsible and brave young citizens. Something the likes of you will never be, no matter how hard you try.”

  He slammed the café door shut in her face.

  6. The Beauty Queen’s Daughter

  “Ladies!” said Nan excitedly, clapping her hands together. “Welcome to our first dress rehearsal for the Miss Humble High Beauty Pageant.”

  More than twenty girls were crammed into the lounge of Nan’s house, spilling over the couches and onto the floor. Off to one side was a dining section, but Percy was the only one sitting on a dining chair.

  It was like as soon as she had sat there all of the other girls had decided that they didn’t want to be near her.

  Bella and her friends were there, holding court in the center of the room, regaling everyone with the tale of how they had just escaped with their lives from a wanted murderer. They did not mention that he had been a werewolf due to the Humbles present.

  On the table Nan had arranged a huge floral bouquet as a centerpiece. Surrounding it were numerous plates of tiny sandwiches, and fruit cocktails in martini glasses, and prawn cocktails in goblets. Several pitchers contained orange juice and lemonade, and a very large bowl of contained pink punch with artfully cut slices of fruit and cucumber floating on top.

  Percy rolled her eyes. It was just like Nan and her mum to make such a fuss. She scooped a large ladleful of punch into a sparkling glass, slurped a huge gulp, and announced, “Delicious! Did you make this yourself Nan? Of course you did!”

  Nan, who was handing out name-badge stickers to everyone, shot Percy a warning look out of the sides of her eyes. Percy grinned, and Nan scowled.

  “What is she doing here?” said Bella in a scathing voice.

  Percy had not even been surprised when she turned up to find Bella here. She was sitting in the middle of the three seater couch, perched right on the edge as if she was afraid she would be swallowed up by the plump cushions. She was flanked by Blanche on her right and Barbie on her left, like some sort of royal pecking order.

  All three had their legs crossed at the ankles and slanted slightly to the side, in a most regal manner.

  Percy slapped the sticker that Nan had given her onto her chest.

  “Remind me who you are again?” she said rudely.

  “Arabella Osterich, as if you didn’t know,” said Bella with a sneer. “And who are you? Other than a mosshead?

  Blanche and Barbie sniggered.

  “I’m co-organizer,” said Percy smugly.

  “No she’s not,” said Nan quickly.

  “Yes, I am. According to the new headmistress anyway.”

  Percy shot Nan a triumphant look. Nan glared at her.

  “What new headmistress?” demanded Bella.

  “There’s a new headmistress at the school,” said Nan. “We met her yesterday.”

  “How did I hear nothing about this?” Bella looked outraged.

  “Because new headmistresses require the student Queen Bee’s approval, do they?” said Percy.

  “Shut up, mosshead,” snapped Bella. “For your information, my mother is on the school board. She’s a former Miss Teen America, I will have you know!”

  “Gosh, I bet that means you’re dying to win this pageant,” said Percy. “Miss Humble High has such a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? Next step world domination?”

  “While you sit and sneer, you weird little oddball,” retorted Bella, “people like me are planning their lives. I’ve already spoken to the headmistress about having a prom and prom queen, and yes, society does care about these things even if you don’t. Some of us know how to use these things to promote ourselves and launch our future careers.”

  “Too bad you’ll have to start all over again with a new headmistress,” said Percy.

  “Head teachers listen to people like me,” snapped Bella. “Especially after I win this beauty pageant!”

  “I think you might find this new headmistress a bit more of a handful than your last one,” said Percy.

  “I doubt it.”

  “And you haven’t won yet,” Percy reminded her. “A bit arrogant of you to proclaim yourself the winner in front of all your fellow contestants here. Including me.” She gave Bella a wide smile.

  “You?” said Bella disbelievingly. Her finely arched eyebrows shot up so high they almost disappeared into her hairline. “You don’t go to our school!”

  “I do now.”

  “You can’t just join the pageant at the last minute!”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t mind,” said an exceptionally beautiful girl, who was sitting directly opposite Bella. She had a waterfall of silky jet black hair, creamy olive skin that had been turned a golden hue by the sun, and crystalline turquoise eyes. “The more, the merrier. I’m Nilgun Shafak. Welcome to Humble High.”

  “I’m Persephone Prince. Call me Percy.”

  Nilgun was sitting on the second couch, and was surrounded by all of her good friends too.

  “Nilgun’s front runner to win,” said one of Nilgun’s friends proudly. “According to the bets being placed all around the school anyway.”

  Percy was not surprised. Nilgun seemed charming and smart, and was clearly well-liked by many of the girls in the room. She was gorgeous enough to be a succubus, but there was something about Nilgun, a lack of arrogance perhaps, that told Percy that she and her friends were all Humbles.

  Bella glared at Nilgun. “We’ll see about that.” She turned her nose up, as if she thought she was better than the Humble girl. Bella turned to Nan. “Anyway, I thought we already had the list of contestants finalized.”

  Bella waved her hand at a plain, mousy-haired girl who was perched on the arm of the couch beside Barbie.

  “Eleanor,” she snapped when the girl did not respond quickly enough.

  At Bella’s glare, this girl stood to attention and fumbled the papers on her clipboard until she found the list.

  “You’re right, Bella,” she said eagerly. “There is no Percy Prince on here.”

  “What are you supposed to be?” demanded Percy. “Bella’s assistant?”

  Eleanor blushed. “So what?�
� she said defensively.

  “Why don’t you note down that I’m a last-minute addition,” said Percy, enjoying the very dissatisfied look on Bella’s face.

  “I don’t think last-minute additions should be allowed,” said Bella. “Who agrees?” Her hand shot up into the air, and so did Blanche and Barbie’s and Eleanor’s and several others.

  “Last-minute additions aren’t against the rules, are they?” said Percy. “Shouldn’t anyone be allowed to enter who wants to? Or are you afraid of a little competition, Arabella Osterich?”

  “Of you?” said Bella. She let out a snort of scathing laughter.

  “Excellent,” said Percy. “The motion is passed that Percy Mosshead may enter a beauty pageant. May the best mosshead win.”

  Nan was glaring at Percy. “Are you finished?” she said quietly through gritted teeth. Then she trilled in a brighter voice, “Now let me just run through the order of events again to remind you of all of the activities we will be going through this week.”

  As Nan spoke, Percy tried not to groan. She dangled her chair back until it was balancing on just two legs. Wobbling back and forth, she tested how long she could stay balanced without falling over.

  It seemed a long while until Nan finished her spiel. “Any questions?” she said.

  Percy raised her hand.

  Nan ignored her. She pointed at Nilgun, who had raised her hand too.

  “I thought the competition was open to boys too?” said Nilgun. “But there are none here. Isn’t this supposed to be an inclusive beauty pageant?”

  “It is,” said Nan. “It was supposed to be. But I guess none of them chose to enter.”

  Percy would bet her life that Nan had probably spent her lunch breaks for the past week actively soliciting every kind of student to enter. That’s what it would have taken for finfolk students in the school to participate, and one of the girls in the room was definitely finfolk.

  The girl, Shara Greyshale according to her name badge, grinned at Nan. When her glance fell on Percy behind Nan, she gave Percy a considering look. Percy winked at her.